Emotional Prostitution

There seems to be a problem, epidemic some might call it, of men and women who have commitment issues getting together to be “friends”!!! No physical benefits per say, but even more dangerous getting together for the emotional benefits. Some will argue with me, no question, “men and women CAN be friends Lindsay” and I have to agree with them, but the question is– is it likely without needs being met on usually both sides of the equation? My thought is probably not, I can say that because I believe God created men and women to be together, to be physically and emotionally attracted to one another, if that is true, if you believe as I do that God made man and then realized, it is not good for man to be alone so He made woman then it seems very unlikely that we could hold back the God given attraction to one another just because there is no title (i.e. boyfriend/girlfriend). See I find it hard to believe that men and women can just “be friends” without some kind of emotional boundary being crossed.
I have this concern for a couple of reasons
1. For married people, see I am deeply grieved by divorce in America. I know that the number 1 reason for divorce is money, but second is infidelity. Would you REALLY be ok if your spouse (future spouse) had a close friend that was of the opposite sex??? That they talked to weekly and talked about often… that they went to for advice and affirmation? I am going to say no, but you all can decide that for yourself.
2. For my people (the singles of the world, especially Christian singles), because we are the worst at this! We may pride ourselves on being “Holy” and not being physically intimate before marriage, but we instead… well you see where I am going…. We hide from our pain and fear and instead give ourselves away emotionally, to only fill the God given desire for a spouse and wonder why we are still single.
I may sound harsh or judgmental but I know this because I lived it for 15 years of my life and I don’t want YOU too!!! I was desperately fearful of intimacy so I would be friends with all the guys I knew, I would even call them my brothers and because the pain and fear was SO deep, I truly thought of them that way…. The problem is there was pain I needed to deal with that was deep down inside. Is there harm in being friends with the opposite sex, you ask, well that is up to you, I am almost 35 years old and still single and I will be honest when I say I have no doubt in my mind THIS IS THE REASON- I was filling my desire for a husband with “friends”—I would often talk about finding Mr. Right, but DEEP down, I was scared literally to death! (see I have been doing this a LONG time), I just recently discovered that I do desire to be married only about 9 months ago… I didn’t decide per say, God released me from that deep pain I had held for about a quarter of a century, He actually showed me a picture of myself as a bride while I was praying through some of my pain and handing it over to Him and asking Him to replace that pain with His Love (never had I ever seen this before-me as a bride)! During the process of dealing with this pain, I had the most amazing experience with God; I have never felt as close to Him, as I did during this time of revelation and healing….. After God had revealed this to me I started seeing this “Emotional Prostitution” EVERYWHERE I looked, it was heart breaking to me because I am pretty sure I knew how most of it was going to end and that is in confusion, heart ache, bitterness and anger, the feeling of being picked over and used….. I could not help but write this blog, I hope that is speaks to someone reading it. I have a prayer that was actually given to me tonight that helps release you from “False Intimacy”!! Please message me at Lindsay@lindsaysnyder.com if you want a copy.
…… If nothing else, sit and meditate on Proverbs 4:29 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it! Also, check your motives with God on why you do what you do! He will show you!!!


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