What about today?

So I didn’t realize it was a “struggle”, I just thought that “thinking (or fantasizing) about the future, my future was normal, it is how our brain operates, right? I never saw harm in it, I thought everyone thought that way… I mean hopes, dreams, planning for goodness sake, we need to PLAN, right…
As God has me on a new journey for this season, the word TRUST is TOP of mind. Proverbs 3: 5-6 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible, it was the first verse I memorized 2 years ago, “Trust in the Lord with all of your Heart, lean not on your own understanding, but acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight!” I would tell everyone, I love this verse, etc etc… but was I REALLY believing it to be TRUE?
Well, He is really teaching me to TRUST Him now… to rely on Him, to walk with HIM daily, not to “worry” about the future, worry, mediate, dwell or fantasize about the future… because I will miss the very blessing of today and to TRUST is to expect with confidence, in His timing, not ours.
I know this is not revolutionary for anyone, the concept that is, but are we really living it… are we REALLY guarding our mind from “what could be” bad or good…
I often think/fantasize about the day when God brings my husband into my life. I have come to be very excited about this and I assume I am not the only girl out there that is excited for this day. It could be my big birthday approaching, it could be that I am blessed and honored to be the Maid of Honor in two very special friends weddings in the next 4 months, or it could be a desire that God has placed in my heart, I am guessing it is a combination of the 3…
Anyway my point is that I find myself going “there” in my head WAY TOO MUCH… I day dream about what “will be” and pay very little attention to the blessing of THIS day. The blessing of being single, the blessing of doing what only a single person can do… A friend of mine gave me a sermon series from her church that talked about rest and how important it is to rest with God… We have all read the books that encourage us to “do all you can for God while you are single” and I do, I do and do and do, not because the book told me too, because He (Jesus) is the center of my universe, and I want Him to always be, but He is the ONLY one in my universe right now, so He gets my full attention…. That will never be again, once this season has passed and I want to soak it all up!
With all these thoughts roaming around in my head and a perfect restful weekend I began to see what I was robbing myself of by “thinking” too much about the future… Or wishing this season away – when truly only a single person can do what I did this weekend and it was WONDERFUL…. A night just with the Lord on Friday (I call it my date with Jesus), a lovely brunch with a friend, an entire afternoon in a coffee shop with a book, my praise and worship music on Pandora while reading, a little cleaning, but on MY TIME line, church, lunch, an afternoon nap and an event that evening, phone calls and a little “needed” planning in the middle… I mean it was seriously a weekend that only a single person could have…. with no one else to consider except my Heavenly Father, that loves me more than anyone else ever could….

Lord, I just want to thank you for the season you have me in, help me to keep today as my focus when at all possible, help me not to “dream” my current blessings away wishing and hoping for a season ahead that you have ordained and I don’t have to WORRY about. Thank you Lord,. That you are ultimately in control of my life and I get to enjoy it… because it is a gift from you and for that I am very thankful…


One thought on “What about today?

  1. Hello! I stumbled into this blog, after reading Cory nikolas status. This blog was just a confirmation of what God spoke to me about this morning. And the prayer at the end blew me away because it was so similar to my cry. Thank you for sharing you’re heart it’s awesome to know your not the only one. 🙂

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