So not every day is perfect, or even close for that matter, the greatest part about knowing God, is when my day seems literally from the pit of hell, I can run to my Heavenly Father and ask for His help, surrender my will and emotions to Him and peace comes over me like I can’t even explain……
Problem: surrendering my will is sometimes easier said than done….
WHY is this? Why is it so hard to surrender our will? I have no idea (just being honest)
Last night was what I would consider a bad night, for NO apparent reason, nothing happened that made me angry or upset, it was a series of thoughts that over took my brain, it felt like I had left my own body and was watching this other person struggle internally with thoughts that were not her own, I knew the truth, but for some reason I was stuck in this pity party, in an angry person’s body. It was weird, because it was almost like I wanted to dwell in my own self pity for a while….. I think we all do it, whether we realize or not.
I felt alone, I could have picked up the phone and called a number of people, but my thoughts were telling me that no one wanted to listen, no one really had time. WHICH was ALL a bunch of fooie (as my mother would say-p.s. not sure if that is a word.) The thoughts were lies…. . The Bible clearly states that the enemy of God comes to steal, kill and destroy. The Bible also says that He Jesus has overcome the world and everything in it including the enemy. So I had victory in Christ, but it was almost like I didn’t want to accept the victory, I wanted to be the victim. I let the enemy get a foothold on my thoughts and there I went on a rollercoaster ride of untrue emotions to steal my evening, which happened. I even felt guilty about reaching out asking for prayer, I know prayer works, but heard in my head, “Lindsay, I can’t believe you don’t love God enough to get past this yourself, everyone is going to think you don’t love God enough.” Luckily I ignored that and sent a few text messages out, see I KNOW PRAYER WORKS…. I have some prayer warriors in my life that I can reach out to in a time where I don’t feel like praying, believing, reading, anything I usually do to line up my heart with God.
…. After I managed to get out of my bed, reject the lies I was hearing “you are depressed Lindsay, you are going to be depressed for the rest of your life” I turned on my praise and worship music, opened my Bible to Psalms which I just heard this weekend is a book about God’s love for us, for ME… I needed that, I suddenly started to feel better, my hope was restored, the lies were exposed and I was sitting there writing away… which I LOVE to do….
I don’t know if there is a formula to feeling better, but this is what worked for me, last night…..
*Friends who pray and don’t judge or try to figure out your problem
*Uplifting music, that reminds you of God’s love for you
*Crying is cleansing, I am getting quite comfortable with it myself
*The Bible…. It is living and active, it is the primary way God reveals Himself to us, He speaks through His word.
*getting thoughts out of my head onto paper, sometimes they are to share like this and sometimes it is just between me and the Lord.
The Point: God is a healer… it’s true. He is a deliver even out of our own hole that we helped to dig, He doesn’t judge or cast blame, He just delivers and comforts like no one else.…. Psalm 34:18 says that The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Matthew 11:28 reminds us that Jesus said “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”